


Pages

by The_Girl_Wednesday



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-02 23:43:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2830346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Girl_Wednesday/pseuds/The_Girl_Wednesday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity finds the perfect gift for Oliver, one she never expected to give.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pages

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written as part of the Olicity Secret Santa gift exchange done by holysmoaksoliver on Tumblr and was written for artreider. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow or any of its characters. If I did, Oliver Queen, Sara Lance, and Tommy Meryln would all still be alive.

     Felicity had never had this problem before. The first Christmas she had known Oliver, they had been nothing more than flirty acquaintances; of course there had been no thought of a gift there. By the time the next year rolled around, they had been friends and partners. Picking out a gift had come easily. The next Christmas, the one she doesn't like to talk about--still can't talk about without tears filling her eyes and a lump clogging her throat--that Christmas she didn't get to give him her gift. This year, their first holiday season really together, she was determined to find him the perfect gift. His Hanukkah gifts to her during their year as friends and partners (there had been one each night) had been sweet and thoughtful, and she knew this year now that they were finally together, his gifts would be even more so. And so Felicity determinedly searched for the perfect gift. She found it one evening by accident when she was searching for her warm woolen socks to bring down to the foundry in hopes of fighting off the chill of the basement. There it was tucked into a corner at the bottom of her sock drawer just waiting to be found.

     Felicity's joy at finding what she hoped was the perfect gift for Oliver was beginning to give way to nervousness. The last thing in the world she wanted was to make him carry more guilt than already weighed down his broad shoulders. His Hanukkah gifts to her had of course been perfect and delightful, but the last night of Hanukkah was already over a week past so she had had plenty of time to fret over the gift.

     It was in the late afternoon on Christmas Day when she gave it to him, neatly wrapped in dark green paper and tied with a silver ribbon. They had spent the morning with Thea, and Felicity hadn't wanted an audience when she gave Oliver her gift. Some things were too personal to be shared even with family. They were on the couch together, Oliver with his body canted towards Felicity, her up on her knees, sitting sideways to face him as she placed the package in his hands with a nervous smile before beginning to worry her lower lip between her teeth. Oliver watched her with an affectionate smile, both amused and slightly confused by her apparent nervousness. He untied the silver ribbon and tore of the paper with very little preamble before gently sliding the lid off the white cardboard box it revealed. When he tipped his head just a little to the right at what he found inside, Felicity quickly rushed into an explanation, letting her words tumble and hands fly in a way only Felicity could.

     "It's a journal--my journal. I started keeping it when you... while you were... I wrote it last year while you were away--when we thought you wouldn't be coming back." She stopped to take in a shaky breath through her nose and slowly let the air out through her pursed lips. "There were so many things I wanted to say to you--things I hadn't gotten to say and that I thought I never would. And it would have been all my fault because I hadn't taken the chance to say them when I had it. The last thing you said to me before you left was that you loved me, and I didn't say it back, even though I knew it was true. So when we realized you wouldn't becoming back, I wrote down all the things I wished I had said and all the things I never wanted to forget."

     Oliver's eyes had not left Felicity's face during her whole speech, while hers had remained firmly locked on his collar bone. When she finally lifted her gaze to his face, he was looking at her with such tenderness she thought her heart might burst.

     "You're giving me your journal?" he asked, a small smile filled with something that could almost he called wonder was lighting up his face. Felicity gave him a faint, loving smile in return and nodded her head.

     "I am, but I want you to promise me something. Don't feel guilty when you read it. Don't blame yourself for what happened. My heart broke over you, over your death, but it was not your fault that it did."

     "I'll try," he promised. And he did try, though with little success, to tamp down the guilt that rose up within him as he began to leaf through the journal and saw the tear stained pages--splotches of deep blue where tears had fallen and caused the ink to run against the creamy paper.

     "I didn't just write the things I wished I had said," Felicity began again, her hands fidgeting where they rested on her knees. "I wrote down my memories of you, of us, as well. The first time we met; that night you showed up in my car and scared me half to death--I was so scared of losing you that night even when I was just barely getting to know you. And my dreams, I wrote those down, too. All the dreams I had of you coming back to me, safe and whole and alive. They were dreams I never thought would come true, and I am thankful every day that they did. And when you read this I want you to know that even though it took me a longtime to say it back, my love for you runs so deep it has become a part of who I am, and that love will never stop even after you are gone."

     Felicity hadn't averted her eyes during this speech. She had kept them firmly locked on Oliver's, willing him with all that she had to feel the depth and sincerity of her words. It must have worked, for as soon as she had finished, Oliver took her face in his hands and kissed her with such love and conviction Felicity felt her heart stutter in her chest. Oliver pulled back to rest his forehead against hers and caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. "Thank you," he whispered before quickly pressing his lips to hers again. "I love you, Felicity."

     "And I love you, too," she said back. She had made a promise to herself a long time ago that she would never again let him say those words to her without saying them back, and it was a promise she intended to keep.

 


End file.
